twloha:

The Spill Canvas
“As Long As It Takes”

“If you let me catch a ride on your road to recovery you can fall apart on me because I’ll be here as long as it takes; a remedy to steady your midnight shakes. I’ll stay here as long as it takes. As long as it takes to get it right.” 

The Spill Canvas is “one of those bands” for me. They deepened my love and appreciation for music. They changed things for me. And when they announced an “indefinite hiatus” my heart sank. This song is one of their more recent ones but it means so much to me. I first heard this song after finding out my friend had been struggling with addiction. I couldn’t shake the feeling that a lot of people have been exactly where I was in that moment, learning for the first time about a battle someone they loved had been fighting.

The beginning of the song talks about watching someone go through the beginning stages of addiction. ”I was watching when you lost direction and I saw you when the headlights died. You were standing at the edge of a train wreck, twisted up inside.” The beginning stages of addiction often go unnoticed. Sometimes a person starts to act a bit different but the picture doesn’t become clear until later on. For me, I simply saw subtle changes in my friend but didn’t suspect anything major. 

The song goes on to say, “I tried to find you in your pitch black bedroom. I tried to find you in the place you hide, but your body was an empty suitcase, hollow sunken eyes.” After things had become glaringly different, I kept trying to seek them out to find out what was going on. I didn’t know exactly what was going on until they finally told me. Suddenly everything made sense. At first I felt guilty for having been angry and not noticing what was going on, but I made it clear that I would be there, no matter what.

If you have a friend who is struggling with addiction please don’t give up on them. They need you, even if they say they don’t. Be there to listen, offer encouragement and understanding. Provide them with resources to get help. Addiction is a difficult path to walk and someone struggling needs others to walk with them on the journey. 

– Chloe
TWLOHA Staff