twloha:

“Arms”
Christina Perri

When I was 12 years old, the whole world seemed to be against me. I was struggling with depression, anxiety, life. I felt caught in a storm of emotions and completely alone.

Yet there was a beacon of hope. The hope that someone understood me and could care for me while I weathered the storm. No matter how much I felt broken or how alone I felt, I knew that beacon would be there, holding me tightly and guiding me safely to the other side of the storm. My mom was that beacon. I attribute her support through one of my darkest times as one of the reasons that I am here today. Her love and never-ending grace helped me to feel safe and capable of moving through life.

Today, I am 27 years old, 900 miles from my mom, and traversing new storms the best I can. That beacon is still lit, but with that great of a distance the light can sometimes seem dim and far away. It can be scary to wander through life, seemingly alone, looking for someone to be that beacon when you need them.

Opening ourselves up to people—sharing our deepest dreams, fears, and secrets with them—is just as scary, if not more so. Sometimes it seems easier to just move through the storm on your own, never allowing yourself to be vulnerable or let anyone in. I know. I understand. I did that for a while. I floated through a dark cloud, not wanting to be a burden or show my weaknesses. I drifted, barely experiencing life.

I’ve learned, though, that inviting others into our stories can help you find that hope you’re looking for. Someone who will understand and walk with you through your dark time. Someone who will love you and care for you and extend you grace. You must be open and willing to push through the doubt and the fear. You must be ready for them to be there for you. I reached out and now allow my best friend to be there with me when times get hard. And she leans on me when she has trouble standing, too. We support and carry each other. We light the path for each other when things get dark.

“Arms,” to me, illustrates the struggle of letting someone close enough to be that hope and help. It’s a scary decision. It’s a scary idea that someone might know your heart and its secrets. It can be hard to decide if it’s worth the vulnerability to allow someone to speak into your life or to do it on your own. Making that first step toward help is hard even if it’s something you desperately want.

But know that no matter how much it may seem to be true, you are not alone in this. Someone is there, waiting for you to allow them to walk with you, to carry you. You are so loved. Reach out to someone you trust and let them be a ray of light leading you out of the dark. You are worth it. Don’t give up.

With Hope,
Holly